So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
