he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am naked and annoyed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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