hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
