I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize