Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
