Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Boobs are out for the taking
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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