I seem to have left my pride at pride
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
