i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize