Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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