so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
