I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
