I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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