Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
