I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
