Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
