Soap is not a condiment
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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