Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
