Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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