I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found the puke drawer
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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