thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize