remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
