Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize