How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
