After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
