I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
