i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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