why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize