you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dicks are not precious.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
