I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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