Acid is not a monday night drug
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
