i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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