I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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