Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
