I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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