no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
