Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
