My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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