what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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