Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
