Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
