I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize