porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
