i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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