After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Girls should come with a carfax report
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
