genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
