I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
