Who wears a wallet chain?!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I believe in your delicious
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
