Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
