Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
