it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
