I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
