More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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