Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.

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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit

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(708): View more from Illinois

No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...

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(817): View more from Texas

Did you ask Harvard boi?

(1-817): View more from Texas

Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank

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