I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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