Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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