she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
